Tag Archives: public domestic adoption

Documentary-The Truth About Adoption

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I watched this video recently, and as heartbreaking as it is, it offers a very accurate depiction of the issue of children languishing in foster care.  This video is from the UK, but is reflective of the same issue children in foster care face here in Canada, as well as the US.  There are a myriad of components contributing to why children stay so long in care, but in this video, we see two of the main reasons; waiting for children to be emancipated from their birth parents and become legally available for adoption, and the challenge of social workers to find homes for older children and siblings.

The hardest part of watching this, is probably the realization, that these beautiful little souls are three cases of thousands in just their country alone. If you’re considering adoption, perhaps you could also consider being the happy ending to a story like these.

The Truth About Adoption

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To Be Or Not To Be?

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So now we’re at the point, where I’m not so patiently waiting for the weekend to pass after seeing three siblings on Adopt Ontario, that I had called and requested more information for. I’m still torn if we’re ready to embark on this journey, but at the same time, I keep looking at their profiles, hanging on our fridge, and I’m desperately excited and drawn to these three little ones. I’ve spent the last 48+ hours picturing us with two sons and a daughter in all kinds of family scenarios. It feels right. They are the first thing I’m thinking of when I wake up and the last thing I think about at night. At the same time, I’m trying incredibly hard not to get caught up in my thoughts and dreams in case it doesn’t work out. My heart isn’t really in agreement with me on that mission though, so it’s a bit of a struggle.

Fast forward to Monday. I managed to survive the weekend. I was off work that day and trying not to watch the clock. At around 11am, I got a text from E asking if I’d heard yet. I told her I hadn’t and her next question was did I call back yet. I told her no, and she more or less asked what I was waiting for. We agreed I’d email instead and try emailing a couple of her contacts in case the person I contacted wasn’t in. The nerves started to build and I was drawing a total blank on Carter’s name. So I went to Adopt Ontario to look them up. When I did, my heart sank. They were gone. I told E, and finished the sentence typing, “Gasp!”. She told me not to panic, that perhaps they just had to make an adjustment to their information. Worst case scenario someone had expressed interest in them, in which case, legally they have to take their profiles down. But she assured me that it didn’t mean it was over. So I sent the email, now a million times more nervous than before.

I had to wait a couple of hours, and I think it’s pretty obvious the answer I received, but here it is….

There is a family that is being explored at this time for these children. I am sorry that this is the news I have for you. Please keep checking in on the site as there are always children coming up.

Everything in me deflated. Such a disappointment. I texted E, and she told me not to give up hope, that just because a family was being explored, didn’t mean that they were the right family. Their profiles could reappear, I could still be their Mom. As I said to the contact at Adopt Ontario, as sad as I was to receive that answer, I was happy for them if they were on their way to their forever home. Ultimately that was what was most important. It just surprised me that a sibling group of three disappeared that fast, being they’re one of the hardest to place categories of children right now. So naively, it didn’t even enter my consciousness that there would be other families that quickly.

In my heart of hearts, since this experience, I don’t think these were our kids. I know from hearing other’s stories that just because there’s a connection, it doesn’t always lead to adoption. I wouldn’t be disappointed if I were wrong. Well, let me rephrase that. It would break my heart if I saw their profiles go up again, knowing that it didn’t work out with the other family. For both the kids and the potential parents. I still would selfishly be happy to have another chance, but that still wouldn’t mean we’d ultimately be chosen. And we’d still have to do some soul searching to see if we were willing to make the changes to find a new home so we could take these little ones in if it got to that point.

For now, whenever I go to bed, I put a little wish out to the universe that these children did find their forever home, and that they received the adoptive parents that they need and deserve. I tell the universe that our paths are meant to cross, so be it, but that I hope they’re happy and healthy with their new family. Ultimately, I know I can’t keep hoping they’ll find their way back to us. Not only because it wouldn’t be fair to them to make them wait longer than they already have, but also because I also can’t call a halt to the journey before we’ve started. I know if I focus on these little ones, I may be overlooking the children we are meant to find. Avery, Matthew and Carter made a huge impression on my heart, and I know that won’t change regardless. If they are meant to be ours, they will be. If not, that means our children are still out there, and meant to be with us. Whatever happens, I will never forget these three. So I keep a little place in my heart for them, and I’m pretty sure I always will.

Now these kids weren’t the ones, and I must admit, if they garnered that reaction, it kinda scares me what kind of disaster I’ll be when we find the kids we actually end up adopting. And if I’m that bad when I see a picture, God help me when we actually meet them for the first time!

Tidal Wave

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So as I said in my last post, I was really disappointed at not being able to attend the ARE. But for some reason my disappointment lingered over the weekend. At first I wasn’t understanding why I was so upset, other than I’d been waiting for months, and would have to wait months again to attend the next one. But still. I felt kind of silly putting so much weight on this. But as I thought about it, I came to the realization is that my disappointment was probably compounded by something that had happened earlier in the week.

My husband and I drive to work together with me dropping him off and picking him up. He’s finished an hour later than I am, so I usually just stay at work and plug away at whatever I’m working on. This particular day, I didn’t feel like working any more, so I decided to check out a website that profiles children up for adoption within the province, called Adopt Ontario. I go on this site daily; once in the morning, and then usually again later in the day to see if any new profiles have been added. (Yes, I’m obsessed, lol!) This afternoon, there happened to be 3-5 additions which is a lot, so as always, I got excited to see who these new little faces were.

So I started scanning the familiar profiles looking for one tagged “new”, and came across a light brown haired, beautiful little girl with a gentle smile and a ribbon in her hair. I’ll call her Avery. I noticed as I was clicking on the link for her full profile, that there was also a sibling link on his page. I clicked on that one to open in another window while I read Avery’s profile. She was five years old, loved girly things and art. The whole profile sounded really good, so I excitedly clicked on her sibling’s profile and found a boy with freckles and a sweet smile, that I’ll call Matthew. His profile also sounded great; he was seven years old, was getting straight A’s in school, bonding with his caregivers, both very happy children who by all accounts were adjusting well to their foster home. I was definitely interested, when I noticed on his profile, that the “sibling” link, actually said “siblings“. I clicked it, surprised that there was a third child. This was the first time I had seen a sibling trio on the site. When I clicked on the final sibling link, there was a tiny little brown haired boy I’ll call Carter, with a mischievous air about him. He was three and again, had a very positive sounding profile. All the siblings were said to get along and play well with eachother. The fact they were bonding with their foster family was great, because that signals that if they’re bonding with them, they’ll be capable of bonding/attaching to others, specifically their adoptive parents. Attachment is a huge issue in adoption, for obvious reasons.

Upon reading the profiles, I immediately texted my friend E. She adopted her son, and volunteers with CAS. My text was something like, “Omg! If we were adopt ready, I would express interest in three little ones on Adopt Ontario right now! They’re gorgeous!” That was it, no prefacing it with a “Hi, how’s your day?”, or “Hey E!” Nope, my words spilled out as quickly as my emotion was about to….cue the tidal wave. As soon as I sent that, all of a sudden, I started tearing up, my heart was racing and a whole spectrum of emotions hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and it was freaking me out. I tried to stifle it, because if I let go and laughed, it would have been this psycho freakishly scary laugh, and if I full on cried, it would have been a serious ugly cry. One of those ugly cries where it’s SO ugly people can’t tell if you’re happy or sad. It was not an attractive moment for me, and I had to shut my blinds to the hallway. I was terrified of someone walking by and seeing me bawling amidst my facial twitches I was sure I was having as my muscles wrestled between frowning and smiling. (Thank God it was after hours and there weren’t many people around!)

Meanwhile, E’s response to my text was exactly like this: “DO IT!!!” (Have I mentioned before that I love her? Lol!) I wrote back that we didn’t have room for three, or I would in a heartbeat. I was a mess, so I had to share. I told E that I didn’t know what was happening, but that I was completely overcome with emotion and couldn’t contain myself. It was all rather unsettling. I don’t know if I’ve ever experienced emotions that sudden and that conflicting before. I just kept telling her I was a mess and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. She put it totally in perspective: I’d made a connection with these kids. She told me something about them just clicked and that’s what happens when you see a child or children that you can really identify yourself potentially parenting. Really??? No sooner did I ask myself that, than I realized that’s exactly what was happening. I honestly didn’t think when I saw a child or children and I thought may be ours, that it would garner that reaction. I envisioned it as you being drawn to them, requesting more information, and just being able to see yourself with them and feelings growing stronger, the more you got into the process. I never imagined it being this powerful and immediate!

A few months after we decided to adopt and I’d been looking at profiles, I’d come across two little brothers that I just couldn’t get out of my head whenever I thought about adoption. I must have looked at their pics and re-read their profiles a hundred times over, even after learning they had an allergy to cats. Their allergy was a definite no, because we couldn’t part with the two cats we have. They’re our first babies, so we need cat friendly kiddos. That was the only thing that held me back from requesting more info for us. Eventually, I saw their profiles come down, and I had mixed emotions. It seemed foolish because we couldn’t adopt them, so obviously I should have been completely happy to see their profiles come down. I was very happy that they were potentially being adopted, but selfishly, I was going to miss those little faces. Up to this point, I really thought that I had a strong connection with them, but my reaction to them was absolutely nothing in comparison to these three.

So after E made sense of my breakdown, lol, we kept talking about the possibility of adopting these kids if we were really interested. She said “Do it!” and “Just do it!” about a dozen or so times, while I kept giving reasons why it wasn’t feasible. First it was that we didn’t have two spare bedrooms; the boys would have to have a room and Avery would have to have one, as per CAS they can’t room together after a certain age. E told me that CAS may be willing to assist us if we were to rent a bigger place temporarily until we could buy a house that fit a family of five. Then it was, well before I go expressing interest, I really should talk to Mike about this. We talked about adopting a sibling duo, but I didn’t know how he’d feel about three. (Had I even really considered three?!?) So yeah, I’d talk to him and see how he felt and then if he was on board, I’d email for further information. E had an answer for that, which I’m sure you can guess what it was. Then before I could even express concern about financially taking on 3 children at once she had an answer for that too, telling me that there could be subsidies for these kids being there were three. She kept encouraging me to request further information, and I really wanted to but something was holding me back. What was it?

I think it was a combination of the emotion catching me off guard, the fear of my requesting info and it not working out, and just the fear and excitement that this could potentially be the start of our path to our kids. E of course said all the right things and asked what was the worst that could happen? We would either move forward in the process, or be told we weren’t going to be considered. There was no mystery, we knew the possible outcomes. And she brought up the point that if she were in my position, she wouldn’t be able to not inquire and always wonder, “what if?”. I knew, like her I would always wonder, so I agreed to call. E had contacts there, so she told me who to get in touch with. So my fingers nervously dialed the number and as the phone rang, I just kept thinking, “This could be it. Oh my God! This could be it!!!” Of course, as if I weren’t anxious enough, I got her voicemail. It was Friday afternoon, and almost 5 o’clock, so it was to be expected. I just was not looking forward to waiting the entire weekend to see where this would go. So I wrapped up with E, with promises to text her the minute I heard anything on Monday, and I was on my way (profiles in hand), to go pick up Michael.

We left his parking lot, and I think we drove a block or two before I said at the stop light, “So I did something today….”, as I reached into the back seat for their profiles. Michael starting looking at them and said, “Yeah they’re really cute, and they sound healthy.” Surprised that there was no comment about them being a trio, and noticing that he hadn’t yet looked at Carter on the second page, I said, “There’s three of them.” All he said was “Yeah.”, as he kept looking at the profiles. He flipped the page and still nothing. I then told him they were siblings, and I had requested more information. He said, “You did, yeah?”, then there was a pause and he said, sounding somewhat alarmed, “Wait, there’s three of them? They’re all siblings???” And once again, my eyes welled up, and all my emotions started tumbling out of my mouth in a big jumble as I recounted my reaction, and my conversation with E. I told him I figured he would think I was crazy inquiring about three, but I just had to. Once again, wonderful and amazing as always, he told me that he wasn’t concerned about there being three. He said it would be a challenge, but he knew we were capable of it. It was just a matter of us having room for three. My heart had a big exhale at those words. So I recounted my conversation with E, and we agreed to wait to hear from Adopt Ontario on Monday. He just added that he didn’t want me to get my heart set on these little ones just in case. I assured him I wouldn’t, despite my reaction I was still not all in just yet.

As excited as I was, I just wasn’t sure if we were willing to potentially pack up and move to a temporary rental accommodation, sell our house, and look for a larger house, while trying to help these little ones adjust to us and us to them, while we all adjusted to a new life? It would also mean likely moving to a house in the future because on average, it takes about a year for families to form the basis of attachment, and for the kids to adjust. Moving is also traumatic for foster kids because they’ve had the experience of moving out of their childhood home, and often, moving through multiple foster homes. So we would have to play it by ear and see how it went if were indeed to be chosen for these children. That in turn conflicted me because I was thinking that if I wasn’t willing to move for these kids, was I really the best choice to parent them? Shouldn’t I be willing to do anything right from the start? Then I felt I was getting ahead of myself. Ultimately, we were interested in these children, but we really didn’t know much about them yet, nor did we know their story and how they came into foster care. A lot could change. But I still couldn’t stop my heart from smiling and whispering, “But what if???”

Pssst…it’s me…

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Do you remember me? Of course you do! But yes, this entry is loooong overdue. I’m hoping nobody was sitting on the edge of their seat, waiting for the follow-up to my last post about the Adoption Resource Exchange. Okay, in case you didn’t get it, that last bit was sarcasm. I mean many of you reading this don’t know me that well, so maybe not. Maybe you’re thinking, “Wow, what an ego on that one!” But I assure you, I’m not kidding myself here. With a whopping 13 followers, I know no one’s life stopped when it took me over a month to post again. But some may have been curious about the ARE and what the experience was. I certainly was as we were planning to go. I had been awaiting this to come around for months, but alas it was not to be.

Thanks to our trusty vehicle (yes, we only have one), we had to forgo attending it. I had got out of the shower, put on my make up, and was about to dry my hair when hubby came home from work, and announced that the engine light in the car had come on and wouldn’t go off. So we could either risk driving to the other end of the city, and having perhaps calling a tow truck to chauffeur us home, or just stay put and take the car in on Monday. We unfortunately agreed the latter was wisest, and doubly unfortunate for hubby, I was not a happy camper.

I was incredibly disappointed. I had waited on this for so long. Forever it seemed, and now I was going to have to wait forever again for the next one to come around. I sulked all weekend. Okay, well maybe I wasn’t sulking, but there was a definitive air of deflatedness. Now normally that’s not like me. Not to get so down over something like this, but as I said, I had really been looking at that date marked on my calendar, and that excitement was building each day it crept closer and closer. But my reaction even had me thinking, “Okay, aren’t we putting a little too much emphasis on this?” But I realized after thinking about it, that it was likely compounded by something that happened to me a week or so before.

Bet you’re wondering what happened right? Well I’m afraid I only intended on a quick entry to get back to my blog and let you know I was still alive, while updating you on what didn’t happen at the ARE. So I’m leaving you with another big cliffhanger… [cue dramatic music] Ha! See how I did that? Now you have to come back to find out! Okay, well, I guess you don’t actually have to come back. But I hope you will. Until then, I’m off to bed everyone. Sweet dreams….

Hello Class…. Welcome to Open Adoption 101

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Once I had my preliminary research on public and private adoption, the next thing I started looking into was open adoption.  Open adoption was probably the first thing and only thing that I objected to when I first read about it.  It made me squeamish, it felt awkward, and impossible.  The more I read about it though, the more I gradually came around.  I’m going to explain in my next entry how that came to be, but today’s blog is another lesson in adoption.  I’m going to explain open adoption and the other degrees of openness that adoption can sometimes include.  So get your pens and notepads ready.  Let’s begin….

In both private and public adoption, there are various degrees of openness between the adopted child, birth parents and adoptive parents.  Adoption is no longer kept in the shadows.  It isn’t something families refuse to speak of because it’s some shameful dark secret.   Things have changed since the days when unplanned pregnancies resulted in a woman leaving town to “stay with family”, while her secret was taken care of, and she was sent back home and told that it was best for everyone involved if she just forgot it ever happened.  Yes, it’s come a long way since then, thank goodness.

Today, many adopted children not only know who either or both of their birth parents are, but they also have open relationships with them where there are varying degrees of contact and information exchanged.   Some even have the same knowledge of, and relationships with, siblings and their extended family as well.  Like me, this may come as a shock to some of you as you hear this for the first time.  That seems to be a common reaction.  If that’s your reaction, I hope that once I explain how it works and the reasoning behind it, you become more open to it as I did.

So what is openness in adoption?  Openness is the amount of contact and information that the birth parents, adopted child, and adoptive parents have within their relationship.  As I mentioned, the degree of openness can vary depending on circumstances.  Back in the earlier days of adoption when it was taboo, all adoptions were closed.  This meant that children were given no information about their birth parents, nor were the adoptive parents.  That is if the adoptive children had knowledge of their adoption at all.  (Everything that’s wrong with that, is material for another class on it’s own.)  Gradually, over time, some openness was allowed with some agencies, but still with limitations.  No identifying details were shared,  just very basic personal characteristics and medical/hereditary information.  Today, this still happens, but very rarely.

Semi-Open Adoptions

From here out, I’m going to use just the birth parent for explanation purposes, but this relationship can encompass just the birth mother, the birth father and/or extended family as aforementioned.  A semi-open adoption is when the birth parents have interactions with the adoptive parents and child, that entails non-identifying interactions.   The identity of all parties is usually not shared, and contact is, most often in the form of letters, cards, and sometimes emails.  Contact is usually mediated with the help of an adoption worker, or attorney, depending on whether it’s a private or public adoption.

Open Adoptions

In open adoption, both the birth parents and adoptive parents as well as the child, have a completely open relationship in the sense that identities are known on all sides.   Contact varies from adoption to adoption, but it can be anything from letters, phonecalls or photos, to face-to-face visits.  These visits can be once a year, or frequent and regular get-togethers.  They may include casual meet ups at home, the park, or family gatherings for holidays and special occasions.

How the degrees of openness are defined and executed are the same whether you go through the private or public adoption process.  What does differ between the two adoption options, is how the degree of openness is set.  There are no stats out there to say which adoption method offers more openness over the other, because it’s the circumstances which dictate what degree of openness occurs.

In private adoption, the adoption is birth parent driven.  The birth parents choose to place their child for adoption, and in most cases choose the adoptive parents for their child.  The decision is theirs as to where on the openness spectrum they choose to place their relationship with their child and the adoptive parents.

In public adoption, the adoption is most often due to severance of parental rights.   There are a number of reasons children are placed for adoption with child protective services; abuse, neglect, inability to parent, a death in the family, and sometimes (though not as often), parents willingly relinquish their rights.  In this method, usually the courts dictate what level of parental contact there will be.  The degree to which it is exercised within the legal boundaries can still be the choice of both sets of parents, but it is not entirely in the hands of the birth parents as it is with private adoption.

Both methods can still impose a closed adoption option.  In both private and public adoption, the birth parents may find it too painful to remain in contact, and opt for a closed adoption.  But in public adoption, sometimes, regardless of the birth parent’s wishes, the court deems a closed adoption the best option for the safety and well being of the child.

So now you know the definitions, but how does this all work?  How can you adopt a child, and as their parent, potentially share their life with their birth parents?  Why would you want to?  Ask a lot of adoptive parents, and they will tell you they had the same reaction that I did when they first learned about open adoption.  They didn’t want to even entertain the thought.  It made them uncomfortable.  Would they be co-parenting this child?  How could they face their child’s birth parents and share their child’s life without feeling guilty for taking them away from them?  Alternatively, how can they have a relationship with the person who may not have taken proper care of their child, or worse?  What if the birth parents didn’t like them or their parenting methods?  Or worse, what if their child liked their birth parents better?  So many questions, and the answer doesn’t address any of them.  The answer is that it isn’t about the birth parents or the adoptive parents.  It’s completely about the child, and their well being.

The reason closed adoptions are no longer the only way is because a child needs to know where they come from, no matter how or when their journey into adoption begins.  Even a child adopted from birth recognizes when they are taken away from their birth mother.  They have spent nine months surrounded by her body, her smell, and her voice, and then suddenly removed and placed in the arms of strangers they have no connection to.  Children adopted at an older age will already have memories of their birth parents.  They may not all be good memories, but they are the child’s history, nonetheless.  The clarity of older an adoptee’s memories will vary depending on their age when they leave their birth family, but they will be there, regardless.  But those memories are finite.  They will stop before their memories with their birth family begin.  There is a huge gap, that no amount of love, care and nurturing can fill.

An adoptee’s need for their history is as personal as their adoption story is.  I’m not going to pretend to know the desire behind the need to know who your parents are.  I’m not an adoptee, so I can’t even begin to speak with an authentic voice, and wouldn’t deign to try.  However, I do have personal experience witnessing someone who doesn’t have their complete history, and the anguish it caused them for many, many years, and still does on some level.  I have seen the pain of just not knowing where you came from.  Of having a part of you missing.

I don’t expect my words to sway you if you’re not at the point of accepting open adoption as a viable option for you and your future family.  But I do hope that I might sway you toward keeping an open mind and doing your due diligence and learning more about the benefits of open adoption.  I know personally, I want my children to look back on a life that was the best I could give;  I want them to have laughter, infinite unconditional love, and a safe place to fall.  The one thing I can’t give them is their life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give them a relationship with the person who did.

Coming Out

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Not really sure how to start this blog other than to say M and I have decided to adopt!  Yay!  This is our official coming out party!  Our adoption cotillion if you will.  Well, mine I guess, being as I’m the blogger.  M is just the date I’ve dragged along to the dance.   Anyhow, both of us been waiting a long time to start our family, and I am so happy to be finally moving in a direction that will hopefully make children a reality for us.

We have decided to adopt domestically, and to pursue a public adoption as opposed to private.  For those of you not familiar with the ins and outs of adoption, I’ll explain the different options that are available.

 

    • International Adoption–  This would be adopting outside of Canada, or within Quebec.  (Yes, in Quebec, they deem an interprovincial adoption “international”.  This is done through an adoption agency, or with the aid of a licensee. Age ranges for these types of adoption can be anywhere from babies to teens, and the cost can run on average, anywhere from $30000-$50000 dollars.  (Not sure, but I would think Quebec would be less than this; more likely around the cost of a private domestic adoption.)
    • Private Domestic Adoption–  This is adopting within Canada through an agency or licensee.  Inter-provincial adoptions can and do occur, however, the most common is usually within your province of residence.  Couples/Individuals seeking newborns usually pursue this option, as it centres mostly around mothers who are pregnant and looking to place their child.  In most cases, the mother picks the adoptive family she wants for her child with the help of the agency or licensee.  Costs for this can range on average, anywhere from $10000-$20000.
    • Public Domestic Adoption–  This is again, adopting within Canada, but in this instance, it is done through a public agency, which in Ontario, is the Children’s Aid Society (CAS).  Age ranges for this type of adoption are anywhere from toddlers up to age 18.  Newborns or children under the age of one are extremely rare.  There is no cost to adopting publically, other than the minimal cost of fingerprints and police background checks which must be submitted with the adoptive couples/individual’s application.

Initially we were unsure of which route we would go, and but were thinking we’d be pursuing a private domestic adoption.  M had a preference of a baby for our first child, so we figured we would be going that route.  However, we weren’t committing ourselves to anything until we’d looked into both sides.  So at the beginning of this month we attended an info session on public adoption at the Children’s Aid office.

In our discussion on the way home that night, M said after going to the info session, he was more comfortable with the thought of an older child, and didn’t necessarily feel drawn to the idea of a baby any longer. He said that the babies in private adoption will be adopted without a doubt because it seems everyone wants a baby when they adopt. (Currently, there are 100-150 couples/individuals waiting to adopt, for every 1 baby that is born. That’s a whole lot of competition!)   But these kids were already waiting for parents.  He thought that going this route “just felt right”.

Hearing that from him just sealed the deal for me and I was completely on board.  I was so excited he felt this way! This was music to my ears, because during my research of public adoption, I had signed up for access to the Adopt Ontario website, where you can view profiles of children in the care of CAS who are waiting to be adopted. I didn’t have my heart set on any child in particular, but there was just something about seeing those kids and knowing they were already out there, that had started to turn my heart away from private adoption.

The music wasn’t over yet. He added he’d even be willing to accept two siblings!  So it was decided then and there, that we would be going home, and starting work on our CAS adoptive parent application.

It’s quite surreal to be talking about all this, and be talking about it in the present, “We’re going to adopt”, instead of the “We’re looking into adoption”, context.  It still doesn’t feel real.  At times it feels silly to be excited because we haven’t even submitted the application yet, so it doesn’t feel like we’ve officially started anything, but I guess it’s just the excitement of a new plan, after our initial plan to have biological children was quashed by infertility.  For a long time, there wasn’t too much positivity going on, and it’s just nice to finally be in a place again where we can think about children and not have it sting so badly.

So this blog is my official launch into the big bad world of parenthood through adoption.   The wholeprocess of adoption is terribly overwhelming with everything you have to consider personally, as well as through the application process.  But at the moment, the anticipation is outweighing that for the most part.  (I’m sure that will not be the case, very soon.)  We know that we have a long road ahead, but we really hope that with some of the positives we have going from an application standpoint (more on that later), we won’t see our already 10 year wait being extended by much longer.

I’m excited to share our process with people; especially friends and family.  Some of you have been with me on the infertility roller coaster since day one, and some of you are just finding out about all this now.  Wherever you fall between those two, I hope you will check in from time to time and see where we are, and ask questions, as well as offer your insight and encouragement.  We don’t know anyone who has adopted, so this will be a learning curve for us as well as some of you.  Right now, all I know is the theoretical side, and I’m ready and willing to get to the practical side of it!

As for those of you who don’t know us and stumbled upon this while researching your own adoption, I hope this gives you some useful information that will help you in your journey.  I’m sure I will more than cover anything you want to know (and probably some stuff you didn’t), with all my excited babbling, but if there’s anything you’re curious about that I haven’t covered, please don’t hesitate to ask.

So that’s it.  First blog entry of many, complete. 🙂